the recent life of me

:O

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:52:28 GMT

This has been a crazy car month. On my way to Joe's to get the car looked at, I smelled something burning. I looked in front of me at the car in front of me going "is it him, or is it me?"

It was me.

The car was overheating!

I mean, how much of this can I take? Seriously! Usually the car is about 2 clicks below the halfway mark on the temp gauge. It was 3/4 the way HOT. And going up! So I did the only thing I knew to do, which was thankfully the right thing. I turned the heat on in the cab.

Now keep in mind, my AC isn't cooling anymore so I've had to drive around with the windows down recently anyways. And I live in Texas. In Austin. And it's July. So I'm already sweating, but my car is more important than I am at this point so I turn the heater on. And for the next 6 miles I watched the gauge. I had my eye on the spot that I would exit the freeway at if it got too hot, I made mental notes to see if I had any water in the car I could cool it off with. I was thinking the whole time "please keep working, please keep working.. just 8 more miles and you're AT THE SHOP!"

And it did. So I got there, an Joe seems like a nice guy, pretty young all things considered. I could give you all the details but I'll just copy what is on the receipt. This is the first receipt like this, I guess this is what one looks like when you're not trying to rip off customers.

Customer states brake work
Work requested: Customer states brake work was needed on the front brakes, but lugnut was seized on wheel studs, request stud and nut be replaced.
Work performed: Removed three seized lugnuts, recommend replacing all four studs and nuts. With wheel removed, the left front brakes were inspected, recommend resurfacing brake rotor and cleaning and lubing the left front brake caliper. The pads have recently been replaced. The caliper is still in good condition. Customer approved repair, all four studs and 3 lugnuts were replaced. The left front brake rotor was resurfaced and caliper was cleaned and sliders lubricated. All is good with the brakes at this time.

Work requested: Customer states on drive in this morning, the engine started to overheat, check and advise.
Work performed: Inspected cooling system found both upper and lower radiator hoses swollen with pressure, both hoses are the same temperature indicating no flow. Symptoms are those of a stuck close thermostat, recommend replacing the thermostat, gasket, lost coolant and radiator cap. Customer approved repair. Thermostat was removed and replaced as well as the gasket, lost coolant and cap. Ran vehicle to operating temp and bled air from system, cooling system now operating normally.

When tightening the thermostat housing, without me seeing, the thermostat fell, when torqued the housing snapped in half, the housing or inlet cap was replaced at the cost of the shop.

Parts: 75.04
Labor: 110.50
Hazmat: 2.00
Supplies: 1.70
Tax: 6.19
Total: 195.43

I was there about 3 hours, so 110 for labor is insane. Neither of us can figure out how the heck the Brake Specialist people got 3 lugnuts cross threaded. He showed me and I was like "How in the world did that happen?" and he said "I don't know I was about to ask you!!" He apologized for braking the housing, but he was honest about it and did not charge me for his mistake.

Overall I think he was incredibly fair, honest, and reasonable. I will definitely be using him for all future endeavors. My car is running beautifully now. I'd like to say it was worth all the hassle, but all I can say now is that I really hope I don't have to spend this much on the car again. If you count the trip to Houston into the cost of everything wrong with the car recently, it's been well over 700 dollars. New tire, new battery, working AC, practically new brake system.. and new car guy. All in all it' been an experience.

Now I just need to get my letter written about the other car place to send off to the BBB.

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 04:23:18 GMT

I called Joe, the brother of my coworker, L, and told him "Hi! L told me to call you because he said you would help me fix my car and not make me cry."

He laughed :D

So wish me luck, I'm going to see him tomorrow at 8am! He said it should take about an hour to fix the stuff wrong.... I am nervous but hopeful.

Updates

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:01:17 GMT

Yesterday I looked up how to improve penmanship, which was the first thing I put on my list of 10in3 (catchy name, isn't it?). The first thing I learned is that I have learned how to write wrong. It's a common problem, so I don't feel too bad. According to this site (which was the best I found so far) I'm supposed to be writing with the arm – in other words, not "drawing" the letters with my fingers. I did not know this. If you write correctly, words are supposed to be written using mainly your shoulder muscles. Shoulder! Who'd have ever thought? So I tried when I was doing an entry on my warrant logs in dispatch and sure enough, after just trying to write with my shoulder my handwriting improved dramatically. I need to practice rewriting with those pieces of training paper that they have for little kids... apparently there is a reason the little kids start off writing with big letters
and move to smaller... that way you learn the motions and just have to decrease the size. So I bought a notebook to start practicing. I'll start when I get bored here, or if I'm on a long phone call.

I haven't really had much of a chance to exercise over the past few days because I was out of town and then just exhausted yesterday (I stayed in and watched some episodes of House). But while I don’t consider it real "exercise" I did get to go swimming in the Ocean for several hours on Sunday evening after getting the car partially fixed.

Oh! I forgot to mention that – Justin and I drove ALL the way to Houston to get the car fixed with his Dad's help, right? Well, the STUPID people at Brake Specialists cross-threaded one of the bolts on a tire!! So we couldn’t even get the bolt off to fix the car! Ooo, I was so mad! That is the second time that has happened to me, and honestly, it’s kind of ridiculous. After that happened (aside from the being mad) I realized I was just so incredibly frustrated with being treated like crap at every mechanic’s shop I have EVER been to. I mean, really, why do they ALL have to be scumbags? I talked to one of my coworkers, we'll call him "L" and he told me not to even bother fighting with them, he said just to go to his brother-in-law's place. His brother-in-law will be able to fix it and give me a quote on getting the AC fixed in the car now that it stopped working too (I think it just needs Freon, it works it just doesn’t cool). I'm still not
decided. Do I go to Brake Specialists and make them feel guilty for trying to take advantage of me and make them fix my car for free? Or do I go give L’s brother some money so I can get it fixed by someone who is supposedly reasonable?

Let's see, what else do we have going on? I'm trying desperately to get some time off the first part of August for my brother Jake's engagement party as well as my friend Robby coming down to visit. We'll see, I should find out today if someone can switch with me.

I have an interview next Tuesday for the Supervisor position at work. If any dispatchers/dispatch supervisors out there have any advice PLEASE! Share! Jess and Jen, this means you!! Coincidentally, I do not have anything "professional" to wear, so I'll probably be getting something nice looking to wear. I don't want to spend too much, but I'm hoping to find something decent quality. I have to keep in mind that I'm trying to buy better things without going over my budget... so we'll see how well that works.

So besides the spanish, the church, and the friend thing.. I'm doing pretty good on my list. As long as I keep it up I should be finished in a year or two – maybe less than three!

Now I just have to learn to paint my fingernails with my opposite hand. Sigh...

<3

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:58:36 GMT

I love my husband!

He made me dinner today AND cleaned up the house a bit while I was at work. Woohoo!

I have no words

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 22:31:04 GMT

I'm pretty speechless.

Also, I will be spending only 6 days this month away from work. That doesn't sound that bad, but most of those will be 12 hour shifts. A few are just days I have to attend meetings. One of those is an interview for a supervisor position. But yeah. At least I don't have to tell them I'm dedicated... I'm pretty sure my schedule should speak for itself!

Tonight we drive to Houston to get the car fixed. Hopefully we won't run into any major problems. Maybe I'll take the Mustang out for a spin.

Fiction. What would happen if someone you know online committed suicide?

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:24:51 GMT

Dedicated to _53, who has lost his faith. Feel free to pass this on or repost the link.

He sat, with the gun in his hand and his finger on the trigger. The pain at what he had seen and felt overwhelmed him. The hatred at God felt overpowering. He didn’t want to deal with what had happened, didn’t want to be strong or learn to love again or any of the cheesy things that people do when they’re depressed and trying to get out of it. It wasn’t fair, it never had been and never would be. He knew that. He just had a choice on whether or not he accepted it. He pulled the trigger.

*

They didn’t find him for several days. It was a combination of the neighbors in the area complaining of the smell and his boss wondering where he’d gone. Mark usually calls if he’s sick, he’d thought on several occasions before finally heading over there.

He found the body next to the bed on the floor. At fist the smell repulsed him away, but as he turned to puke he saw a note. He grabbed it on his way out, out of the room and out of the apartment, throwing up and screaming for somebody, anybody to call someone to help. This was out of his pay grade, out of his realm of comfort. Out of what was expected.

With hands shaking (he knew people shook and threw up when they saw someone die, but this was his friend, this was someone he knew, and it wasn’t like the movies at all) he read the note. "Fuck this. Tell everyone I’m sorry." Underneath it was some instructions on getting online to tell those he knew what happened.

He heard sirens.

Several emotionally trying hours later he made it back to the office. His tie was undone. His hair was matted to his head with sweat - from the local heat and from being so near someone 3 days dead. He ignored the stares that followed him through the office, up to the second floor. He ignored the few that followed him in, wanting an update, knowing where he’d been and what his demeanor meant.

He tried to speak, only noticing now that his voice was hoarse from telling the police over and over again what had happened. No, he did not know where he’d gotten the gun. No, he did not know what had happened prior to his death. No, work was not that stressful. No, he didn’t have family locally. A thousand questions.

He grabbed a can of Pepsi from his desk. It was warm from sitting here for hours, but it parched the dryness in his throat. He looked up at the concerned friends of Mark and his bosses. They needed to hear it, even though they already knew what he was going to say.

"He’s dead. He shot himself."

Mark’s boss put his head down and started to cry.

*

Hours and thousands of miles later, a young woman logged onto her computer after a long day at work. She hadn’t been able to be around for a few days so she knew she had a little catching up to do. She read about a friend taking steps to learn more about herself. She read about a friend getting a good deal on a vehicle. The next post drained the color from her cheeks.

"Hello, you may not know me, but I was Mark’s boss. Earlier today Mark was found in his apartment after committing suicide. He had apparently been depressed for some time. Based on what his friends locally said, they had always thought him to be rather cheerful. Most of them had no idea he was so unhappy. I um, well, in his note he asked me to log onto this account and tell you guys what happened. He said to tell you that he was sorry. We don’t have any funeral information yet and we have just recently gotten ahold of his mother. I hate that you have to hear about it this way. I will log back in to try to answer some questions but I don’t know much at this point. I am sorry."

The tears flowed freely. She sobbed, crying openly for her friend she had hoped to one day meet in person. She thought of the times he had helped her, the times he had been an ear for her problems. Why hadn’t she done more to help? Why hadn’t she said the right things, wasn’t there something she could have done? Why did he have to give up? Why did he have to kill himself? Deep down she kind of felt like she should have done more. Like in some twisted way it was her fault.

*

A few hundred miles away but in a different state and time zone, another girl had a similar response. But hers were not tears at first, they were angry words. She yelled at the computer. She grew full of anger at his senseless death. She threw a cup across the room and it shattered into a thousand pieces, but it did little to make her feel better. She ran outside to the small area she called a backyard... and she screamed. She screamed for the life lost, for the friend lost, for the chance at greatness that he had given up. She screamed because she had known of his depression, known and hadn’t done or said enough. She should have told someone there, she should have found someone there to help him, she should have been a better friend and she collapsed onto the ground with all of this racing through her mind. She should have done more.

*

A continent or two away, even further from the initial crime, a man reads about the death of someone who made him laugh more than anyone else he’d ever not met. It was the death of a man who challenged his own faith and made him stronger for it. The death of a man who had inspired him to find truth for himself. He puts his head in his hands with a defeated sigh. No more would he read of his misadventures, no more would he anonymously read, thinking one day he would have the courage to contact this person and tell him how much he enjoyed reading about him. He turned off the computer, and for the first time in a long time, he doubted.

*

His mother wept.

*

Back in the city where he was lost, time had gone by. His friends had told one another, had gathered together to try to make sense of the pain and the loss. His pastor (from days before his loss of faith) stood at the front to deliver the eulogy. He watched as they played a sad, slow song about losing faith and losing love. He did not know how to do this, this was his first suicide funeral and there were no comforting words he could say with conviction.

There was lots of crying, lots of hugging, lots of anger. Lots of unanswered questions. His funeral was nothing spectacular, but they gathered together just the same. It was crowded there, it was hot, and everyone gathered around the closed casket with hand picked flowers that seemed to glisten in the heat.

He got up to speak, tears in his eyes the same as everyone else’s. Through tears and heartbreak his friends tried to listen. They listened as he told them that sometimes we don’t understand why people die. We don’t understand why people choose to take their own lives. The pastor tried to speak words to uplift the many friends and acquaintances that had come to mourn… but he found he couldn’t.

He couldn’t try to pretend it was ok. He couldn’t pretend it made sense to any of them, because they’d lost someone they loved that had left because he didn’t want to be with them anymore. Yes, he’d left because of the pain and the hopelessness. But if any of them felt the way the pastor did... he left because he didn’t want to be with them anymore. They were all guilty in their own little ways of not being there for him. Not saying the right things. He thought of a dozen ways he could have been a better friend to him, and hadn’t been.

The old pastor couldn’t be ok with his death, and he told his friends that. His friends nodded and understood and in the heat of the day, in the midst of the sweating flowers, they held each other and cried.

*

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:14:17 GMT

Make Babies with friends and celebs!

Yeah... cute kid! I wonder how accurate this actually is... Teresa, you should do this with Tim and see if it looks anything like Mandy!!!

Walking, jogging, doing fun stuff

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:52:31 GMT

2: Justin and I went to the park yesterday and I had SO much more fun than I did when I went by myself!!! We jogged, and walked, I walked for a while alternating a side kick and roundhouse kick (good to stretch those muscles!)... we played on playground equipment and jogged up and down a mini retention pond that's built into the park... before I realized it an HOUR had passed by! And I was pretty active the entire time. I did a lot of walking, and I certainly didn't walk/jog in 90 or 60 second intervals... but I had fun and was dripping sweat. So, good workout.

I didn't even have any residual pain from the previous days walk to the mall, and no real pain today.. muscles in my lower extremities are a little sore, but nothing painful. It's the good kind of sore.

Mentally I'm kind of... blah. Not really depressed, just bummed I have to spend 200 dollars on parts for the car, then drive to Houston on Sunday to get them installed. I decided to get calipers for both sides of the front end, since everyone keeps telling me that if you only replace one you risk messing up the other side or having a pull to one side. So, new calipers and one new rotor cause I'm pretty sure the left one is still fine. I'm going to have to put it on the credit card, but hopefully this next check will be hefty (I got like, over 20 hours of overtime on it) and I'll be able to put a chunk of it on the card. If nothing else I think this has helped Justin see our need to really get a budget together. If we plan to do things like go to the movies in the budget we won't feel guilty when we go. So we'll see. I have a feeling a real budget is still a ways away for us, but at least we won't be wasting any money the rest of this month!! We still need to save some money to go to Florida with Tim and Teresa with. I'm super looking forward to that vacation... just hanging out with my favorite relatives? Awesomeness.

The only highlight to the week so far was seeing Teresa and Lyss and Max yesterday. We got to catch up and laugh over lunch... I really need to make time/budget allowances to do that more often!!!

Anyways. I know that I should do things like fold laundry, clean the car out for the trip this weekend, go exercise, make myself dinner.... but I'm going to sit here and watch Goku kick everyone's butt in the World Martial Arts Championship. Mmmkay.

A spoiler review of Angie Jolie's "Wanted"

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 02:38:07 GMT

I don't think I can review this movie adequately without spoiling essential plotlines, so read on with caution. To summarize, imagine my husband making a thumbs down motion while sticking his tongue out and going "how to you type pppffffbbbttt?"

Angelina Jolie was pretty hot in some scenes, and it did have a nice view of her booty in one scene, but overall the movie was plagued with essential plot problems. Mainly? The plot sucked.

And I don't just mean it sucked. I mean, it really was bad.

The story follows our "hero" Wesley Gibson on a journey from cubicle-hell to a world of dangerous assassins. It's a secret society called the "Fraternity" that has been around for a thousand years. He's rescued by Fox (Jolie) as his father's killer tries to come after him. They then proceed go on what was probably the worst filmed car chase I've ever seen. It rarely actually shows the cars chasing each other, the film focuses on the "holy crap!" reaction of Wesley as Fox tries to kill the bad guy and drive the car at the same time. It cuts from inside one car to the inside of another, back and forth, and it's really kind of lame and wobbly. That's the first half hour or so of the movie.

So he trains to become an assassin at this secret facility that is disguised as a textile factory. And here is where the movie loses me, and where Justin and I looked at each other and went "huh!?"

See, Morgan Freeman is the head of this assassins group. And he takes our "hero" into a room with a HUGE weaving loom. He tells Wesley that the way they pick who dies is by reading the tiny inconsistencies in the fabric that this weaving loom is making.

He calls it the "Loom of Fate" ....DUN DUN DUH!!

The loom of fate? Seriously? Come on Morgan, how did you pull that off with a straight face?

Anyways, I won't ruin more of the predictable movie for you. And to be fair, I did like the fight scenes at the end of the movie. It was very Equilibriumish.

Justin and I walked out of the theatre really irritated at how bad it was. And I'm pretty easy to please. But the plot, while predictable, didn't even make the characters all that likable. Everyone has a secondary agenda to what appears to be good intentions. Boo. Justin said he didn't like it because everyone was cold blooded killer.

We were trying to figure out how the movie was thought up. I had a theory that a bunch of guys were talking about how they felt fate was looming over them... while they were high and drinking. One of the guys thought the idea of fate looming over them was funny, or interesting, so he made a movie about the loom of fate.

Justin said "I killed him because the blanket made me do it!"

The whole thing was just ridiculous. I can love bad movies if I can relate or at least enjoy somebody. But there was a lot of senseless death and I didn't think the characters made up for that enough.

Very disappointing movie. C- and it would have gotten a lower grade, but like I said, the actual fight scenes themselves were pretty OK.

One of the highlights from our trip to TN

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 03:45:56 GMT

Pictures tomorrow, because I'm exhausted and want to tell a story with the pictures :)

Car update

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:34:50 GMT

So Justin took the car to the Tire shop in Cedar Park. They are usually really good to me, and they seemed to make Justin happy too. We needed a new tire in the back and got a rotation done. That was 80 dollars, but well spent since tires are important (especially with the torrential downpours we get here). He said he looked at the brake pads and they were worn, but nothing that looked like it would be causing the horrible grinding noise. So I called Hyundai dealership and they couldn't take us until the end of the week because they were booked solid since the other 2 dealerships are closed for building upgrades. Great. So I called around, read some reviews, and finally decided to call the Brake Specialists in Cedar Park. Didn't find many reviews, but no news is good news and I didn't like what I read from the other places. So they could get me in at around 1 (I got off work at 12) but they were short staffed so they said just be ready to wait a while for the car if it needed work. OK.

I knew it was going to rain today so I had picked a place close enough that I could walk to the mall and people watch. Turned out to be a good idea, as that was the exercise for today. Little bit of uphill, and in the heat, was pretty sweaty but I tried to treat it as exercise and not just walking to get someplace. I think I did pretty good, and probably walked (throughout the hours I was waiting) about 3 miles. Feet were not sore and I didn't have any pain from it, but I was also leisurely strolling through the mall and I don't think that really counts as a workout - but it was movement, and I'll take it.

I'm digressing. I stopped at about 2:30 to get a bite to eat in the mall food court (there is this tiny shop that does fruit drinks and panini sandwiches that are AMAZING). Brake place called while I was eating, which was good as I had a paper plate to write on. Here's what they told me:

The grinding noise was my rotors on the front right side. The calipers were uneven, causing uneven wearing of the brake pads. He said I had to get new calipers, rotors, and pads for the front. Then he told me that my wheel cylinders in the back were leaking brake fluid and I needed new shoes in the back as well as the drums machined.

The total for all of that? 1,093.00 + tax. YIKES.

So I told him I would need to call him back, because there was no way I had that kind of money available (I should have a fund for this, but I don't, I'm working on it but I'm not there yet). I tried calling Justin but had no luck (turns out he was in a meeting while this is going on). I called David, my father in law. He listened as I said everything then when I told him how much they wanted he said the equivalent of "oh heck no!" He told me to call Auto Zone and price the calipers and rotors.

So I did. Calipers at Auto Zone are 96.99 each for my car, and you can't just get one because having a new one and one with 136,000+ miles on it is going to have the same problem it has now. Rotors are 28.99 each.

David said if we can manage to get to Houston this weekend he will help us install the parts. He's done brake stuff before (as has Justin) so he said it would probably be doable in one day. I called the brake place back and told them just to put the new pads on - that way we can safely make it through the week and to Houston. They weren't happy about it, but they said OK. I still ended up getting a bad deal of it though, because the pads and labor were 174 dollars!! 80 for the pads themselves (which I could have gotten at Auto Zone for 40) and almost 80 in labor.

*Sigh*

See? I walk into a car place and they go "ooh! ooh! Easy target!!" It sucks.

And I was exclaiming my woes to Teresa and she said when she went to a local place they told her she had a leak in her back brakes, but when she went for a second opinion there was nothing wrong. She said she thinks it's just their staple "woman walking in, must make there be a problem with the back brakes" - which sounds accurate all things considered. I almost hope that's the case, because then I don't have to replace mine!!

One of my coworkers has a brother who does automotive work - found out when I was talking to him about the Mustang. Not sure if he does just older cars or newer too, but I'm going to find out and maybe go to him in the future. I hate that I can't trust people in that industry. It's really a shame.

So it looks like another drive to Houston. I was really hoping we could stay home and do things like clean, but it doesn't look like that's in the cards for us. It's still drizzling outside, so I think I'll grab my exercise ball and watch some Dragonball. Goku always cheers me up.

Car Woes

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 03:11:11 GMT

Anyone know why my brakes would make a weird grinding sound every once in a while? It has happened randomly over the last few days. Sounds like it's grinding against something pretty badly, but then 10 minutes later it will be acting normal. I thought when your break pads started to wear out you heard that screeching noise from the little pin? This is like, worse than that.

I'm taking it somewhere tomorrow, I don't know where yet. I'm really bummed. So much for having enough money to get by until next payday. *Sighs*

Any advice so I don't get royally screwed by the brake people? I'm super easy to take advantage of in car shops :\

5:18 AM Edit: We're taking it to the tire people first. My theory? The tires needed rotated anyways, so I'll just ask them to look into the front right tire area. I read online about a lady who had the same noise and it ended up being a piece of plastic from the AC that had fallen and was bumping against the grinder or something. Another guy who had the dust on the break thing. So who knows. I just got called into work (yay overtime, boo working another day) but I might only have to cover a few hours. I think Justin will be bringing the car in. He's a man, and one who knows at least a little about brakes, so maybe they will BS him less. We'll see.

To clarify

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:37:04 GMT

I can’t reply to comments while at work, the computer won’t allow it. But as an addendum to yesterday:
I did not realize that by calling my jogging “running” (as that is what I considered it) I would confuse people. My sincerest apologizes; I thought that the words could be used interchangeably.

For the record, I am attempting to follow the plan here. One of the challenges I encountered was the need for better arch support; that is because I do not have any arches. Literally. There is the slightest curve to my foot, where an arch should be, but for the most part they are completely flat. When I get out of the pool and step on hot pavement, there is no curve to my wet footprint. My husband explained to me yesterday the importance of good arch support (to help the back, to align the hips, to prevent osteoporosis) so I will look into good footwear to wear. He also warned me that if I bought shoes with arch support that I would be in pain for about a month while wearing them. So I’m not in too much of a rush! Will probably wait until I get paid again.

The definitions below were found browsing online, and it’s the best definition of the difference between running/jogging I found. So I’ll be sure to use the correct verbage next time to prevent people telling me I’m overdoing it. I didn’t; I just used the wrong word.

Walking is when both feet contact the ground at the same time with straight legs. Distance Between Footstrikes = Distance Between Feet

Jogging is when both feet contact the ground at the same time for an instant with bent legs. Distance Between Footstrikes = Distance Between Feet

Running is when both feet never contact the ground at the same time. Distance Between Footstrikes > Distance Between Feet

Sprinting is running where a large proportion of the time is spent with neither foot touching the ground. Distance Between Footstrikes >> Distance Between Feet

Productive!

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 02:29:15 GMT

2: Notes from my run/walk
*Running is hard! But, so far, not as scary as I thought. Definitely harder than it should be.
*I need better shoes, I think. 25 minutes of walking and a tiny bit of running and my arches hurt. Will give it a few more days before I decide.
*Must. Build. Back. Muscles. Will improve posture and give my chest more support.
*Need a better way to measure time. Perhaps a stop watch to go around my neck? *Carrying a watch doesn’t work, it’s too hard to look at the buttons.
*I need a place to put some water. There are several areas along the trail. I need to get some bottled water, or a water bottle with water. There is a fountain on the trail, but it tastes like monkey butt.
*This will take me longer than 9 weeks. I’m thinking probably 12 to 15. But still. I will get there.
*Look into charity runs that will be going on in 4-5 months. If I have a closer goal than 3 years from now, I may feel more motivated.

5: My search for a church
We’ve been trying to find a Sunday morning service to attend, but I only get every other Sunday off. So I am looking into Sunday night services.
http://www.turningpointeaustin.org/ - Close to home, college age to 35. Looks promising, and I’d be able to get there if I went straight from work. Not having service tomorrow.
http://stdave.org/site/worship/cat/schedule/ - Their 5pm service is too early, but their 9pm looks interesting. Can anyone educate me on what I could expect at that service?? St. Aidan’s was much more modern and this seems much more traditional.
http://www.phoenixchurchaustin.com/ - This guy has two churches. This one at night, and another during the day. The night service is at 6, so I wouldn’t be able to make it. But I might check both services out on a Sunday I have off sometime.
http://www.austinbible.org/ - They have stuff Sunday nights, but I don’t want to start out by going to a prayer service.
http://www.legacyfellowship.org/ - Again, looks good but no services I can make it to.

*sigh*

It’s my bedtime. I’ll look some more at work I suppose. Lots of places to check out on my Sundays off in the meantime. And there are some Wednesday services that look promising. We’ll see!

Chicka-chicka wow wow

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 21:37:41 GMT

The last few days have kind of been a tad sad for me. I’m working a lot, which is fine and wonderful, but I’m working with coworkers who I don’t really have a lot in common with. Usually I am OK with that, but these are girls around my age that I should be able to connect with about something. But I don’t. So I sit silently in the corner, only talking when it’s about a call or work related. The whole thing is made worse by the fact that I’m reading “The Revolutionary Communicator,” which happens to shine light on my lack of communication. It’s an awesome book about how Jesus communicated with people, but it very much makes me aware of my lack of friends and connections here in Austin. I’ve met a ton of people, but not so many that love me and want to spend time with me.

So in lieu of continuing to make myself miserable by being sad about it, I’ve decided to turn the negative feelings toward the positive. About a week ago I decided that instead of fad dieting (even though it works for me, at least temporarily) I would go for a healthier, long term solution to my health. The solution? Eating healthy and exercising. Woo!

I know people say that most magazines are trash, but the ones I get always make me think. Body+Soul is the newest magazine I’ve subscribed to, and while I don’t get that much out of it, the articles I do like end up making up for the ones I don’t like. They had an article in there about the Importance of Taking Risks (link, thank you internet). I really enjoyed it and it sort of planted a seed in the back of my mind. I’ve always wanted to run in a 5k or 10k, but I’m hindered by the fact that I hate running. No, see, really. I. Hate. Running. I used to joke that I skipped high school purely so I could quit running in Physical Education. I’m bad at it, it makes my lungs hurt, just generally… bad. Body parts bounce too much, I have weak joints, you get the picture.

But I would love to “be a runner.” I’d love to be able to get out there and have some endurance instead of getting tired after 15 minutes. So I decided to start running. I’m actually starting out by consciously moving around more in my day (a big deal for someone on her butt 12 hours a day) and walking at night. There is a track near the house. Good so far. Then I decided, why stop there? Why not set a goal for myself, something tangible I can say “I have this much time to do this in.” That would also be a little scary for me. But in a good way.

So, I present for your consideration, my goals for the next three years. To be completed by the 4th of July, 2011.
1. Learn to have better penmanship (I started that goal by handwriting this list first!)
2. Run a mile in under 10 minutes.
3. Improve my wardrobe to include more “polished” pieces that fit me better.
4. Own a comfortable pair of high heels.
5. Find a home church.
6. Learn to give myself a good manicure/pedicure.
7. Be debt free.
8. Take a fantastic trip somewhere, anywhere.
9. Learn Spanish enough to have a conversation with a native speaker comfortably.
10. Find 2 new friends in Austin that I can “connect” with.

I have to tell you, I’m pretty proud of this list. Most of this stuff scares me – number 1, 2, 5 and 10 are particularly scary. I don’t even know if 4 is possible. 3 will be a work in progress, but as I lose weight and my body changes I’ll make wiser clothing choices. 6 is long overdue for a 23 year old woman (who is too cheap to go to the salon), 7 is probably not possible if I want to do 8, and 9 is long overdue. I may reward myself with 8 if I can pull off 7, a lot of that will depend on Justin.

I’m going to set aside time each week to work on these, and hopefully I will be able to keep updates and actually make some progress at bettering myself. Scary thought :)

Non-spoiler reviews: Hancock and Wall-E

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:57:55 GMT

Wall-E
Wall-E is the type of movie I should have cried at, but didn't. I think it's cause they were robots... and I only cry at human movies. It has romance, it has amazing scenery, great acting (in a Pixar kind of way), adventure... it has a lot of amazing things in it. You can find the political message in it if you look hard enough, but it's really about a lot more than that. It was a simple story but a well told one. And sometimes, the well told simple stories are best of all.

Hancock
I've been looking forward to this movie since I heard about it several months ago, so there was a lot of possibility I'd end up disappointed. I saw the bad reviews. I saw the accusations that it was just a plot-hole filled mess. I saw the 34% on Rotten Tomatoes. But you know what I've learned? I'm a LOT easier to please than the reviewers are.

I *really* enjoyed this movie. Yes, they throw the A-hole around a lot. I'm not going to justify that. Yes, it changes course pretty dramatically in the middle of the movie. No, the trailers do not do it justice.

I laughed. I cried (twice). I cheered and booed silently in the theatre. I love Will Smith as an actor, but I liked this movie for more than just his acting. I liked the story. We all love superheroes. So what happens when one of them falls? This is a story about that. About other things too. If you wanted to see this before you saw the reviews, and the reviews have deterred you, don't be deterred! Give it a shot. You might like it.

Rant about babies, oddly enough, though that wasn't my intention when it started

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:20:20 GMT

So I work with this girl that has an almost-one-year-old. I remember her before her pregnancy as a happy go lucky personality who was head over heels in love with her husband. She would gush about how amazing he was and I’d secretly envy her happy marriage with hopes that the relationship I’d been in at the time (with Justin) would eventually lead to that. She had “plans.” Plans of when she wanted to have a baby, plans of when she wanted to buy a house… you know, plans.

Well fast forward almost 2 years, I’m about to celebrate one year of marriage with Justin and her son is about to celebrate his first year of life.

I’m happy and while I try not to gush too often about my husband, he’s amazing and incredible and I love him a lot. We’re disgustingly cute, and we BOTH like it that way.

She appears miserable. I mean, she acts happy enough. Especially when officers come in or there is a bunch of people around to listen to her talk (she’s one of the most narcissistic people I’ve EVER met) but she snaps at her husband when he calls her, gets angry at callers for little reason, and is just generally… really mean. I don’t work with her too often as we are on opposite day shifts, so the difference is all the more apparent because I haven’t seen the daily change. I’m not going to go into too many details because they aren’t really relevant. But seeing her like this, and seeing her how she was, has made me think.

Let me preface the following with this: I graduated high school ridiculously early and went to college and graduated (with a 2 year degree) by the time I was 16. The result was that I started working when I was 14 (to pay for said college degree) – and not flipping burgers, but at a semi-professional place. That means I’ve been working now for almost 10 years. So yes, I am only 23, but having been in an environment with so many older people for so long, and just now starting to catch up, I’ve always felt older than I was. I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made, but I’ve always understood that I got along better with the older crowd. I’m not saying that to brag but just to explain myself before I get to my next point.

See, I want to start a family. Not today, not even this month, but sometime in the possible future. But seeing this – talk about discouraging!! On the one hand, I tell myself that I won’t be like that, and we won’t be like that, but I’m sure EVERYONE says that, and what makes us different? I’m also very selfish and I don’t want to have to spend all my time devoted to a baby. I like my life. I like being able to drive to Houston with my husband on the weekend with no regard to anyone. I like deciding, spur of the moment, to go visit a park and just hopping in my car and going. I like spending my extra money (when I have it) on a new purse, or a video game, or a night out at the movies.

Right now if I wrote out a list of pros and cons to raising a family, the cons would be more numerous than the pros. But since when does the “satisfaction of raising an intelligent child” rate the same as “giving up date nights”?

The real question isn’t so much whether or not I should have kids – both Justin and I want some, although we’re pretty divided on how many. I want a lot of kids; I grew up in a family of 7 and I loved it. We were mixed – half siblings and step siblings – we were poor most of the time, we fought a lot, but they made me stronger than I would have been and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Justin maybe wants two, depending on how the first one turns out.

So the question isn’t whether or not to have kids. The question is when. We’d obviously like to spend some more time being a couple – hopefully at least another year. Maybe two. Or three. When is a good time? What age is a good time? I’m turning 24 this year and Justin just turned 27. I’d like to be done with the initial 0-18 by the time we’re 50 or so, which leaves us with a few years. But do you ever get to a point where you say “Ok, I’m ready to have kids.” There’s this part in Juno where Vanessa says “a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant, a man becomes a father when he holds his child” which is great and sweet and sappy, but how do you determine when to start that? Why can’t there be like a nine month warning alert “All couples be advised, in nine months you will reach the appropriate maturity level and patience to have a child of your own, it is now safe for you to attempt to have a baby.” Wouldn’t
that be awesome?

I suppose if I’m worrying about when the right time is, it obviously isn’t. But in a world where plans don’t really work out for people, unplanned babies turn out fine (heck, I’m one!) and having a good family is a goal, why wait? It seems that as much as we’d like to predict our life to go a certain way, it usually doesn’t. And as much as Justin hates planning and I obsess about it, we have to find a happy medium. Is it ever the right “time”? We can’t wait forever, so what are we waiting for?

Geeze. I think I should have just talked myself into starting now. Except the selfish part of me still says “nope, not until you’ve been married at least 2 years.” Nobody told me that the hardest part of starting a family is figuring out when to start trying to have a bigger family. Justin looks at it this way: wait until we’re ready or God gets impatient.

I guess, in the end, that’s all I can do. But I standby the idea that we should get a nine month warning alert! ;)
--

writing, carry on!

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:09:30 GMT

She ground the cigarette butt into the circa 1983 ashtray. It was her fourth in the last two hours. As the remains smoldered and faded out of sight she took a sip of her jack on the rocks. It was her third in as many hours but she still had found no resolution to her anger, or her insomnia. The jack was no longer on the rocks, but now a watered down version of her favorite drink. She stood to remedy the situation, banging her head on the lamp above her couch. The same lamp she banged her head on every time she got up, but especially when she drank.

She muttered an expletive and went on her way to the liquor cabinet, forgetting halfway there where she was going and getting distracted by a picture on the wall. It was of her and her brother, when times were different and they acted as if each other were alive. They had their arms around each other, grins that were masked by the large amount of ice cream on their mouths. It was taken at his birthday party when they were 12 and 10.

So much had changed when Dad died. It wasn’t enough that it was on Christmas, or that it was by his own hand. It was so much more. It was that so much was left unsaid, so many things she’d wanted to say and apologize for and even explain – but things like that couldn’t happen now, wouldn’t happen. She could never admit to sneaking out when she was 16 in his car to see her 18 year old boyfriend. She could never admit that she was the one who toilet papered the yard on her 14th birthday because she was so embarrassed no one else remembered. He didn’t even realize it was her birthday. The joke ended up being on her; she had to clean it up while her brother looked on and laughed.

She went to light up another cigarette, and finding her glass in her hand continued to the cabinet to fill it up. A sip, then a drag. Sigh. A drag, then a sip. Sigh. She was well aware of her self-destructive behavior, well aware that her therapist and the AA sponsors had already warned her about the anniversary of his death. But everyone around her was cheerful and in that damn holiday spirit. She couldn’t stand it.

It used to be her favorite holiday, Christmas. Sometimes she half through he killed himself then just to spite her. She’d always run around their house, putting hand drawn and handmade decorations up. It was just the three of them; their mom had run off when she and her brother were babes. Dad had done an alright job, but he’d always hated the holidays. They never celebrated unless she did all the work. And for 17 years she did. But that last damn Christmas, the last one before she graduated and went of to college, or whatever, they woke up with him slumped over in the car in the garage. And a note that said “Sorry.”

Why the hell is he apologizing!? If he was sorry why did he do it!? It’s not like it would have killed him to stick around, it’s not like one more broke-ass Christmas would have surprised them.

The glass flew from her hand and hit the picture frame before she knew what she was doing. She took a few steps back and landed back on the couch, cigarette halfway burned out. Ashes fell to the ground as she started crying.

He died three years ago, and she’d been a wreck since. He had always been her hero, she’s always admired the way he never gave up and always worked hard to provide for them. It messed with her mind when he died, completely shattered the image she had of him. Her brother had fought a lot with their dad in his teenage years, and though she would deny it to his face she kind of blamed him for his suicide. It was the kind of thought she only had after drinking, the kind she could only admit on the couch in the fetal position. Deep down she knew her dad had suffered depression, deep down she could see signs she had previously missed when she looked back. But she always wanted a better answer. A better reason. She never felt her dad was a failure, and knowing he failed at life…. She couldn’t accept it.

The phone rang. It stirred her from her crying, and caller ID said it was her brother. She hadn’t talked to them since shortly after the funeral. He’d went to college on a math scholarship and she’d become a drunk.

“Hey.”
“Excuse me, is this Miss Abrams?”
“Yes, who the hell is this?”
“My name is Peter, ma’am, I’m Joey’s roommate.”

He’s crying.

“He shot himself, ma’am, I’m sorry, we just came in, I’m sorry, I’m sorry ma’am, I’m sorry. He was depressed all week and we should have known, I’m so sorry.”

She screamed. She bolted up from the couch, drenched in sweat. She looked around. The phone was on the opposite side of the room. A dream. It had been a dream. She must have passed out… but damn, what a dream.

She looked at the clock. Three a.m. The Matchbox 20 song entered her head, the same as it always did when she looked at the clock this time of morning.

She lit another cigarette up and tried to take in the dream. What had it meant? Was he suicidal? She’d kept up with him somewhat from his friends; she knew his number and knew he was doing well in school. She never called him though. She just hadn’t found words to say to him, words to connect him to their father’s death without blame or hate or anger getting in the way. He wasn’t the reason her dad had died, but seeing him made her remember him too much. Made her face his death in ways she hadn’t been ready to.

She’d never been one to take much stock in dreams and meaning behind them. But maybe it was time. Maybe she’d hated long enough, maybe she’d drowned her sorrows long enough. Maybe her brother needed her as much as she needed him. To remember and to forgive, to love again in ways that were real. She didn’t know the answers to her questions, but she knew a place to start.

She picked up the phone.

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 04:35:54 GMT

Just a quick update. In the great state of TN right now. We've been having a wonderful trip so far, met lots of relatives and all of them seem to like me (or at least fake it really well!)

I'm enjoying my time away from work, but I miss my cousins and my cats.

We went to a bar club type thing yesterday night, and saw people line dancing to that song "apple bottom jeans" ............

I had no words. I actually got video, I'll upload it to youtube when we get home.

How is everyone doing in their worlds?

VACATION!

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 03:27:56 GMT

Hey all! Quick update: VACATION! Justin and I got the rental car this morning, and we're in Houston and the in-laws. We're watching Juno (my third time and it's STILL a great movie!) and having a good time visiting. We got here early enough to go to the beach, so we got to have some fun there. Chris (Justin's cousin in the military) came down for his last "weekend" before shipping out to Iraq. He brought 2 friends with him that are in the Army and they were hilarious!! We swam and had dinner, it was amazing stuff. Now we're relaxing.

The plan is to head to TN tomorrow morning and relax, fun, and um, relax. I'm really looking forward to a week without work, maybe I can stop dreaming about it :)

Today we stopped at an outlet mall near Houston and Justin made eye contact with a sales dude. 20 minutes later we spent some money on some sea salt from the dead sea with healing properties and fragrance and pretty stuff. It was amazing, the sales guy looked EXACTLY like Zohan's cousin in "Don't mess with the Zohan." He was very amusing, kept telling Justin that I was beautiful and telling me that I had a "very smart man" for a husband. He did such a good job we half bought it to pay for the entertainment! But the salt scrub was awesome feeling so I'm excited about it. Soft hands and feet for the win !!!

Anyways. Life is good. VACATION!

YAY!

on a few books

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:07:48 GMT

I have this weird little quirk that comes up every once in a while. Someone will offhandedly mention a book, or I'll read about some obscure book, and I have to have it. I suppose it intrigues me somehow, or piques my interest. I don't exactly know how it happens, or why, but as it has only happened 3 times I don't exactly worry too much about it. It's nowhere near obsession state yet.

These are the books:

The Three Christs of Ypsilanti by Milton Rokeach
I did a search for Jesus Christ at Berkley, while visiting an old friend Justin (who attended there). We somehow came upon that book, which was at their library. I vowed to someday read the book but it's not published anymore, hadn't been for years even then, and it was a full 3 years before I was able to find a copy of it (that was affordable) on Alibris.

By far one of the best books I've ever read. Fascinating study on three very unique characters who each believed they were Jesus Christ (or God). Some of it is absolutely amusing, when they talk about being Jimmy Carter, about being the kind of england, about Santa Clause. And some of it is heartbreaking - parts about their families, about their lonesomeness. The reality of the book in and of itself is heartbreaking, but also very engaging. I enjoy reading it.

I exist, I need, I'm entitled by Jacqueline Carey Lair
It's mentioned offhand in Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and I realized that I'd love to read a book with that title. I didn't have to wait 3 years for this one, Alibris had it for 5 dollars in decent condition.

It's about the author and her journey to self-realization and appreciation. Her husband is a successful author of self-help books, and she's expected to be very put together and perfect. But she can't...she has breakdown after breakdown and the book is about her last shot at normalcy, starting at a mental facility in Germany. It's about her journey there, her journey to heal, and it's absolutely wonderful.

God in the Dock by CS Lewis
I had been looking for a good CS Lewis book with a variety of his writings/speaking engagements. I loved the name, and Amy found it for me at a used bookstore in California and gave it to me for Christmas one year.

I love CS Lewis for lots of reasons, but one of the main reasons is because he makes me think about my faith in a way that I could explain it to someone while sitting at a bar having a crown&7 and smoking a cigar. Not to say that I would do that, the bar scene isn't for me, but I can envision faith in a way that fits into the real world. I can think of faith as something to take with me when I'm outside of Church, as something that exists even when the world fails to recognize it. I don't know if I'm doing my feelings justice, but for me Lewis has always been very real, in ways that some of the more holy writers haven't been. I've always felt I could sit anywhere in the world and be comfortable reading Lewis.

So those are my books that I treasure, my books that I never would have read had it not been for a comment from someone, or a random search, or a good friend. Books have a way of attaching themselves to your soul sometime, and these three will hopefully be with me for a long time.

A friend got me thinking about speaking in tongues...

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:29:19 GMT

I know that in the Acts there were tongues spoken and understood by other people there, but in my old pentecostal church it was always thought that "tongues and interpretation" was a spiritual, more than practical, meaning. There were many instances where someone "spoke out" in tongues and there was a kind of holy silence in the church.. and then there would be an interpretation, usually from a different person, which would be something that was understood as the church needing to hear, or a particular person needing to hear. There was a few times that someone "spoke out" in tongues and it didn't feel right. Something felt kind of off, like it wasn't sincere or the spirit wasn't "moving" with them. In those instances everyone looked uncomfortably at other people, and there was no interpretation.

Having been gone from that kind of church for some time, I can see how ridiculous it sounds. But there was more than one time that the message said and given to us was something that some of us needed to hear - and a time or two that I honestly felt absolute conviction by what was being said - as if it really was meant for me.

My pastor had said that when we pray in tongues to ourselves, it's a way for our soul to pray and communicate with God in a way that we can't - a way to draw closer without our minds getting in the way.

When I look at it, written here, I can see how easy it is to write it off as fanaticism or merely being caught up in a spiritual moment. But having been there, having felt the spirit move inside of me, inside of other people right in front of me, I can't deny that I believe in it.

When I was in Mexico on a mission trip our church came under such an attack it oppressed our hearts, we started praying and I was literally slain in the spirit - I fell straight to the hard concrete ground in our sleeping quarters - and I laid there, with my arms raised, praying in tongues for over an hour. I was honestly not focusing on what I was doing, but I have rarely felt as close to God as I did then, there on the cold floor. After some time I stopped, my face streaked with tears, and the oppression was gone. I will never forget that night, because until then I had never experienced spiritual warfare to the same degree.

I don't know that when I was speaking in tongues I was speaking in a language that could have been recorded and understood. I don't know that it was even a real language as we on earth know it. Someone once told me they thought it was a language only God and the spirit could understand - a way of communicating without the devil knowing what you were saying.

I don't know the answer to that - scripture in Acts implied their tongues were a language known to others. But I do know that what I felt was real, and it was amazing.

Mustang stuff and a prayer request

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 21:01:51 GMT

First things first. My sister Jean (in CA) is pregnant with her 2nd child. She is 30 weeks along and about a week ago her water broke. She has been in the hospital since then on complete bed rest. The baby (a boy!) is doing good, they have given her some medicine to help his lungs develop. Yesterday she started having contractions. They were able to stop them after several hours, but it was pretty scary there for a bit. For those of you that are the praying type, please keep her in your prayers. I'll keep you updated. They are trying to keep her pregnant as long as possible to give him the best shot.

Second thing, much more fun to think about. The mustang! I don't have pictures yet, I was so emotionally invested in it last weekend that I didn't even think about that. I'll get a bunch when I'm back down in Houston. I looked into car insurance for it today. I talked to AAA about it, since I use them for my elantra, and was quoted about 300/year for full coverage. Not bad at all! I'm a little concerned though, because when I asked about replacement value on it I got 2 different answers from two different agents. One told me that due to it being so old I simply placed a monetary value on it (say, 10k) and then they adjusted my rate accordingly. The second said that I did not need to place a value on it, because in the event of the vehicle being totaled they would determine the value based on "market value" which would put the vehicle somewhere in the area between 5-15k, at least, I'd hope it would. A 1965 mustang in good running condition with most of the original parts is pretty rare, so I think it's got a pretty good value.

I also looked into Hagerty Classic Car insurance, a place I found from perusing the classic car forums at Vintage Mustang. They want 500/year, but I can quote the value of the car - that was what I got with a 12k value of the vehicle. But there seems to be a lot of restrictions... minimal driving, and the requirement that "Each licensed household driver needs to have a regular-use vehicle for daily driving and must maintain regular-use insurance in his or her own name." Justin and I only have the elantra to share between us, so "each" licensed driver can't have their own car. Sheesh, what do these people think I am, rich? So maybe I'm interpreting that wrong, but I don't know.

I haven't talked it over with Justin but I think I'll get the AAA coverage while I work on it, and then if I can't get a straight answer from AAA about the value of it we'll upgrade to an actual "classic" car insurance.

I turned in my application today for Communications Supervisor. The pay raise sure would be nice to help fix the car up :) Not to mention all the good stuff I could do for the department. I'm not going to get my hopes up - well, I'm going to try not to - and we'll just wait and see. I'll definitely pray about it and let God do the deciding. He has always helped me make good decisions so I'll trust him on this.

In 2 weeks (well, 10 days) Justin and I head to TN to take a week off and visit his family. It will definitely be a fun time and I'm looking forward to meeting everyone. I could definitely use the time off work - I keep dreaming about work! Trust me, it's no fun to get 5 hours of sleep and wake up in a cold sweat only to have to go to the place you've been dreaming about for 12 hours! A week off will do me good.

My diet is still doing good, I had my first "cheat" day on Sunday when I visited my folks. Mom made homemade mashed potatoes, and dad made battered and fried steaks with homemade gravy. It was absolutely delicious, and definitely worth the cheat. Back on the wagon now, slowly losing it an ounce at a time.

Think that's it for now, kids.

Family!

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 00:12:34 GMT

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

Thanks jess for the link!

Grandma's Ford Mustang

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 01:55:14 GMT

Justin and I bought a 1965 Ford Mustang over the weekend. It originally belonged to my Grandmother, who bought it with the intention of it eventually going to my Father, who had always loved mustangs since he was a little boy (they came out when he was 10, so you can imagine...)

He got the mustang from her and for several years worked on it, took care of it, and drove it to and from work. He put a lot of time and money into it, making it a good car. Never looked like much, but it purred like a kitten. I remember driving late at night with the windows down, just me and Dad, enjoying the freedom the car gave you.

When my older brother Alan fell on hard times, my Dad gave him the mustang. He made him promise not to sell it, and to keep it in the family. Since my grandmother's death was under some pretty bad circumstances, the only possession we were able to keep of hers was the mustang. Everything else went to a greedy Aunt and Cousin who had taken advantage of my grandmother in life, and in death.

That was all back when we lived in California. We moved to Texas and things have been good. My brother has kept the car running. He recently got a job offer to move to Oklahoma. They would need to move fast, and he needed money for a down payment he didn't have. So he decided (in his crazy mind) to sell the mustang. It's a classic car, and while the interior is pretty ugly it's got a great engine - a few minor details, wire loose in the alternator, that kind of thing, it was easily worth about 5 grand. Alan decided that since he needed the cash quick, he'd sell it for 1500.

1500 dollars! For an irreplaceable family heirloom! The only thing we had left of my grandmother's estate, and not that I'm a shallow person but it had a lot of sentimental value and memories built up in that mustang. Hours spent working on it, driving in it, bragging about it. All gone for 1500 dollars. That was the price he put on it.

We tried to get them to take payments but they wouldn't. I tried to come to terms with it, I really did. I told myself that Grandma wouldn't have minded, that it was for a good cause. And I was OK with it until I went to say goodbye to them. And I saw the mustang, and I smelled the interior, and all the memories flooded back. I started crying, I told Justin I couldn't do it, I couldn't see it leave us.

So we got some other relatives to loan us the money. Our stimulus check is coming in the mail soon, Uncle Sam is going to buy the mustang and help us keep it in the family. We had to convince my brother; he had people lining up to buy it with cash in hand but I begged him, I told him it shouldn't leave the family and that he should give us the chance to own it. We just wired him the money and now the mustang is ours. Alan's in Oklahoma now, with his wife Mandy and little Ethan. The mustang is mine and Justin's now. We'll care for it the way it should be, we'll restore it piece by piece and get it cleaned up and looking nice. It was a close call, really, but I prayed and God answered my prayers.

I've been overcome with emotion the last 2 days. Excited and happy and most of all, thankful. I feel like the mustang is somewhere it will be loved, and cared for, and someday when I have kids I can tell them how their Great-grandmother bought it for a son she loved, and how we have loved it in her memory. And we can take them onto the freeway, at a safe 65 miles an hour, and they can feel the thrill of it all.